Don't You Shiver
by MKaseyM
Summary: Lily finds herself discovering what it's like to fancy James. JILY One-shot.


My take on how Jily became a reality.

Lily Evans walked into the Heads' Common Room, hoping against hope he wouldn't be there. She should've hoped harder for he was sitting on the sofa looking at the fire. Lily stopped in her tracks, and James turned his head to look at her.

He jumped up in surprise but didn't say anything.

Lily stood there, not knowing what to say. She just wanted to go to sleep. It had been such a long day, and she did not want to have this conversation with James Potter right now. Or ever, for that matter.

Lily took a few steps past the couch towards her room. James leapt in front of her before she could get very far and grabbed her wrist.

"Lily," he began.

"I can't, James," she interrupted. She looked down, away from his steady gaze, and shook her hand out of his grasp. She tried to take a step around him, but he blocked her again.

"No, Lily," he said. "We have to talk about this."

They were silent. Lily finally met his gaze. His eyes were soft and questioning, his lips sealed. His breathing was rapid.

When Lily did nothing to respond, James began to plead. "Just tell me, Lily… Tell me how you feel… Lily?"

Lily had returned her gaze to the floor. She couldn't look at him.

They had been friends. They had been getting along for almost a year now. They had been working together as Head students for a couple months. James hadn't asked Lily out since fifth year, and Lily found she really did like him when he wasn't being arrogant.

So why did he have to go and ruin it? They both knew that was what he had done – ruined it. Things would never be the same.

However much James knew he shouldn't have done it, he didn't regret it. In fact, he had been wanting to do this for months – to lay it all out on the table, to figure things out. He liked Lily as more than a friend. So much more. And he had told her as much earlier today. Lily had run off and avoided him ever since.

James hadn't even told her the big thing – that he loved her. That he loved her more than anything – more than his friends, more than Quidditch, more than magic. That he was _in_ love with her.

He had been getting mixed signals from the girl for a while now, and it was time he knew how she felt about him.

Lily knew she had to tell him, but the thing was she didn't know _what_ to tell him. She had so loved being friends with him. She would go so far as to call him her best friend, but she couldn't fancy him… could she? _Did_ she? No, Lily told herself, she couldn't and didn't! James was just overthinking their friendship… Or was he? Maybe Lily really _did_ fancy him, but that would create many more problems.

Lily had never been one for change, yet it seemed to occur a lot her in life. Changes like finding out she was a witch; going to a boarding school; losing her friendship with her sister; losing her best friend to a darker world; becoming friends with her ex-enemy; her parents dying; fancying James. She just couldn't handle more change. She had had enough. If she told James she didn't fancy him, then their time together would be awkward and filled with questions until he moved on. On the other hand, if she told James she _did_ fancy him, then their time together would be more like a relationship and not a friendship. She couldn't lose that friendship.

But no matter how she looked at it, Lily knew that the wholesome, non-awkward friendship they had had was over.

"Lily," James said again. His voice was growing quite loud and sharp now. "Lily! Lily, answer me!" He paused. This was it. If she wasn't going to open up, then he would stop trying to pry her. In his last hope, he all-out yelled. "LILY, TELL ME HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME!"

"I FANCY YOU, JAMES, OKAY? I FANCY YOU! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" Lily yelled back. It was the truth. She did fancy James. She could no longer get around that fact, but she still wished he had never said anything on this subject. The change was, now, inevitable.

Lily's face dropped, and she sank down against the wall, her head in her hands. She had never felt so defeated.

James, on the other hand, was incredibly happy. Lily had finally admitted it, not only to him but to herself as well. "That's all I ever wanted to hear," he told her.

For those four seconds, James was ecstatic, but his elation fell when he noticed Lily's shoulders shaking slightly.

"Lily?" he asked, worriedly. He bent down and crawled to sit next to her against the wall. Her knees were pulled up, and she had her face in her hands. James pulled his knees up as well and put his arm around her.

"Hey," he said. "Don't cry."

"I'm sorry," sounded her muffled voice.

"No, it's okay. It's okay, Lily." He pulled her wrist away from her face, and she turned towards him. There were tears cascading down her cheeks.

James stood up and pulled her with him. He wrapped his arms around her in a vice-like grip as she hid her face behind her hands again.

They stood there for a while, Lily crying and James trying to keep his own tears from falling – he couldn't stand to see Lily cry, especially since he had been the one who caused it.

Lily let her tears fall, glad to have a friend she could cry to. And it was in that moment, when Lily thought of the word "friend," that Lily began to cry for a whole different reason. She realized that even though they both knew they fancied each other, they were still hugging like they had always done (or done for the last few months anyway) and James was letting Lily cry on him just like _he'd_ always done. They were still friends. They were still _going_ to be friends. They fancied each other, and they were still friends. Lily almost laughed at the revelation.

Lily slowly removed her hands from her face and slipped her arms around James' neck. If possible, James gripped her waist even harder.

After who knows how long, James removed his arms and led Lily over to the couch. There they sat, leaning back, arms around each other, feet stretched out on the coffee table.

After another moment, James said, "So. Word is you fancy me now."

Lily giggled quietly. "I guess so."

They were silent again until they fell asleep, arms still around one another, Lily's head on James' chest, and smiles on their faces.

**A/N: **I hope you enjoyed the one-shot. I'm quite satisfied with it, to be honest. I was tired of reading versions of this story where they came out kissing, so I decided to write my own.

I'd appreciate any criticism you have and reviews are always welcome, of course. Thanks!

-M


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